NFL Draft Running Diary

It’s been a long time since we’ve done a Running Diary so we’ll bring it back for the 2013 NFL Draft! Draft days are some of my favourite days in sport, and not just because you can make a drinking game out of it. Here’s an excerpt from that post about the excitement for Draft Day:

“Draft Day is set up so you can irrationally begin to fall in love with players when they first enter the league and give you hope for the upcoming season. Or of course if your team drafts a player you don’t like, make you wait for impending doom. If you’re like me, you love draft day. LOVE draft day.

L-O-V-E DRAFT DAY!

The limitless potential that comes with the event is what’s exciting about it. Anything is possible. Trades can happen to move up or down in the draft, trades can happen to acquire current players, or a team can just stand pat and usher in a new face to the franchise. Teams look at their depth charts and the depth charts of every team and figure out a way to manage their roster best for the upcoming season. It springs hope annually onto fans hoping that THIS IS THE YEAR their team wins.” 

All of that rings true every year. However, this year as a Seahawks fans... we don’t own a 1^st round pick as part of that AWESOME Percy Harvin trade, so we won’t see much about Seattle on Day 1 of the Draft. An idea from Seattle GM John Schneider is to just spend the draft watching YouTube clips of Harvin. Sounds like a fine idea to me. Sidebar: Its 2013, and YouTube has been around for nearly a decade... how is it that this fad of ruining sports highlights with music hasn’t ended?! Am I the only one that likes commentary with sports clips? Angry Walter Meme Alert!!!

But draft day is still a lot of fun just to see what can happen and for me this year it’s about what rivals of the Seahawks do. The NFC West has been a ridiculous arms race during the off-season and it doesn’t get any easier this draft because the Rams have 2 picks at 16 & 22, the 49ers have the most picks and the Cardinals...... and the Cardinals........ aaaand the Cardinals............... Yea I got nothing nice to say sooooo moving on. I’m hoping to just avoid land-mines for this draft and not see players I think are going to be really dangerous end up on teams that play the Seahawks often. Tavon Austin headlines that group. I’ve spent WAAAAAAAAAY too much time reading mock-drafts leading up to this draft and by all accounts he could go from 6 to the Browns, 7 to the Cardinals to 16 to the Rams. Plus there’s rumours of the 49ers moving up. But we’ll see how it all shakes out, here’s how it went down starting at the pre-draft show:

4:30 pm PST:  WELCOME TO RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL!!!! It’s already 90 seconds in and the production quality of the NFL Draft is 100x better than the NHL Draft. This event just looks way cooler. Jon Gruden is awesome. His enthusiasm for the game is just so contagious. He’s already targeting guys that he labelled as “One Hit Wonders”. He’s fun and smart to watch.

4:41 pm: It’s taken 11 minutes but we have our first Manti Te’o mention. Followed by a quick musical extro featuring 50 Cent.... There’s a Manti’s “girlfriend” got shot 9 times joke in here somewhere. ESPN comes back from commercial straight into discussing Te’o – who might not even go in the 1^st round and isn’t even at the Draft. None of this is a pre-cursor that this draft might not be fun... I swear.... Drafts are fun!

4:52 pm: They just broke down Geno Smith who is regarded as the best QB Available and it took about 8 seconds before they talked about the deficiencies in his game. Surely if you’re the best QB in a draft it should take longer than 8 seconds to rave about the things you can do. This shouldn’t be a warning sign.

5:00 pm: RUSSELL WILSON SIGHTING!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I get ridiculously irrational when anything about Russ happens. That promo to signal the start of the draft was awesome. Russ saying some inspiring stuff with “The Heavy – You You Like Me Now”....... UH-OH!!!!! No wait – it got ruined by 50 Cent coming back on the screen. Let’s get back to Russell Wilson!!! I’m disappointed Russ let himself get associated with 50 Cent, but he’ll rebound. He’s probably in the film room right now studying the rap game.

5:02 pm: Commissioner Roger Goodell comes out to a chorus of boos. Well done Jets Fans. You’ll get a 45 minute reprieve from us laughing about you. If you’re wondering why we laugh at you, here’s a quick reminder. #ButtFumble I’m not 100% sure if they’re booing Goodell because of the Replacement Ref’s fiasco, how he disciplines players, or for being a general ass. Now Joe Namath and Phil Simms have been brought out to promote the next SuperBowl which is in New York/New Jersey. Broadway Joe just yelled into the mic, which is an upgrade the last time I saw him on TV. OH WAIT I JUST REALIZED THAT JOE NAMATH AND SUZY KOLBER ARE IN THE SAME ROOM HERE!!! This is the most fascinating sub-plot of the draft. The Chiefs are officially on the clock. But they want an extension and an explanation from Roger Goodell as to why 50 Cent is a part of these festivities.

5:14 pm: Its 8 minutes in while waiting for this pick, and the Andy Reid clock management jokes are flying on twitter. Apparently they were trying to run the clock down to generate more interest in trading down. Cause the past 3 months wasn’t enough time. They wind up selecting Left Tackle Eric Fisher. The Jaguars are on the clock, so everyone goes to the fridge to get a beer. I’m gonna rewind and go back to the Russell Wilson intro.

5:27 pm: Luke Joeckel goes 2^nd which makes it for the 1^st time in history that Offensive Tackles go 1-2. I’ll have a piece about why left tackle isn’t as important as people think coming up later in the season. I already predict that Jacksonville will be back picking in the top 5 next year again.

5:32 pm: A TRADE!!! Raiders move back from 3 to 12 with Miami moving up to take Dion Jordan. Which I’m thrilled about because Dion Jordan was one of those guys that I didn’t want to be playing in the NFC West. I also want to point out that Raiders fans are thrilled at moving back in a draft. So for those scoring, the Raiders management NOT selecting a player is their best move in the past few years.

5:50 pm: After the Eagles selected the 3^rd Offensive Tackle in Lane Johnson at #4, the GREAT Barry Sanders comes to the podium for the Detroit Lions. But he’s not there just to help the Lions make this selection. Here’s there to promote Madden 25 as he was just voted to the cover – they also selected a guy named Ziggy from Ghana who didn’t see American Football until he came to the States. He also compares himself LeBron James knowing that LeBron plays basketball. This. Can’t. Miss.

5:56 pm: We’ve had back to back picks with awesome names: Ezekial Ansah and Barkevious Mingo to the Cleveland Browns– play by play commentators everywhere are stressing out. It also took Jon Gruden 90 seconds to make a “Mingo – Bingo” rhyme. Love that guy! Oh no – The Cardinals are on the clock and Tavon Austin is still available.... I’m not worried... I’m not worried... I’m not worried...

6:10 pm: The Cardinals select Jonathan Cooper but then the Rams trade up to get Tavon Austin..... I will now excuse myself to drink a shot of bleach. The Arms Race in the NFC West continues.

6:14 pm: The Jets are now on the clock for their first of 2 picks. To commemorate their pick, let’s take another viewing of the Butt Fumble.

6:20 pm: The Jets select Dee Milliner with the 9^th pick. Time for a review: they traded Darrelle Revis for the 13^th overall pick so they could select a Cornerback with the 9^th pick. #JetsManagementLogic

6:29 pm: With the Tennessee Titans taking Alabama Guard Chance Warmack San Diego has the worst case scenario unfold with the 5 elite O-Linemen being drafted before them. For those wondering how badly of a need Offensive Line is for the Chargers, just ask anyone that owned Phillip Rivers in a fantasy league last year.

6:30 pm:  Another in the trenches player goes with DJ Fluker going to San Diego – this is like the reverse fantasy league draft. Can someone draft a skill position already! Instead we get a commercial with another 50 Cent extro... Why isn’t there an iso-cam on Joe Namath walking around and one of Suzy Kolber looking behind her to see if Joe is creeping up on her... Although its 2013 - he's probably trying to find her facebook page.

6:38 pm: That last pick also meant that 3 Alabama Crimson Tide players were selected in consecutive picks. Note to self – pick Alabama to win NCAA National Championship in 2014 / until Nick Saban retires. Now the Raiders are up and they select DJ Hayden which means we’ve had back to back DJ’s drafted. Fans of Candace Cameron Bure and DJ Tanner rejoice with all the DJ recognition! The Jets are back on the clock and the discussion is if Geno Smith is worth the pick here for the Jets. If he doesn’t get picked here that means the Jets value this over Geno Smith.

6:45 pm: With 2 DT’s rated higher according to the ESPN Board – the Jets select Sheldon Richardson. The Jets are awesome. So rather than A) select a new QB over Mark Sanchez or B) Select offensive weapons to support their decision to stick with Mark Sanchez... they selected 2 defensive players. They know how the new NFL works right?

7:04 pm: Here’s the QB WOW that nobody had. EJ Manuel goes to the Bills. Geno Smith, Matt Barkley and Ryan Nassib all still on the board. An actual quote they mention in his breakdown “like Blaine Gabbert he only read half the field in college”. That’s not concerning at all. Another 50 Cent extro... this is 3 too many already!

7:12 pm: Thanks to Twitter I’ve learned that the Bills line up with a C.J, an E.J. and a T.J... they missed the D.J. run earlier and tried compensating. So to recap for the AFC East – The Dolphins traded draft capital to move up and get Dion Jordan, the Jets drafted 2 defensive players, the Bills traded back to still somehow reach for a QB – and the Pats have yet to do anything and have somehow had the best draft in that division.

7:15 pm: Oh no – we’re waiting for the Steelers to pick but apparently the 49’ers have moved up from 31 to 18... Please don’t pick Eifert... I’m not nervous... I’m not nervous...... I SAID I’M NOT NERVOUS!!! But I do have this drink ready.

7:16 pm: PHEEEEWWWWW!!!! They traded up 13 spots to select safety Eric Reid....  I’m now celebrating that bullet dodge with my own re-enactment of this.  

7:27 pm: The Bears are on the clock now with former Montreal Alouettes Head Coach a topic of conversation. No digs by any of the ESPN Staff about the CFL – top notch work. The Chicago Bears then select brother of Chris Long and son of Howie Long – Kyle Long. If there was any doubt about football being won in the trenches, this draft should end that. I’ve lost count of how many lineman have gone. Quick picture of Geno Smith with a hand on his head and on his phone. Fun observation about the change of time – Aaron Rodgers had to sit there and stare blankly when he was sliding.... Geno Smith should be happy he is sliding in 2013.

7:33 pm: Quick montage by ESPN by other QB’s that slid in the draft. They show Rodgers and Brady Quinn. Just a reminder, Brady Quinn is now backing up Russell Wilson... I’m not ok with this – I’d rather Tebow... Honestly..... BUT NOT SANCHEZ!

7:34 pm: The Bengals select Tyler Eifert 1 pick before the Rams are back up. THANK YOU CINCINATTI!!!!  The Rams immediately trade out of 22 to 30 to switch with Atlanta. If the Rams were able to get Tavon Austin AND Tyler Eifert, this would have been the result for me. Also the term “Manti Te’o territory” has started. It’s also known as “no man’s land.” Interesting pick by Cincinnati as well, following the popular 2 Tight end trend now taking over the league. While I like the pick, it’s funny when teams follow a trend. The Patriots did it selecting 2 TE’s later in the draft, the Bengals have now burned 2 1^st rounders to replicate someone else. You always wanna set the trend, not follow it. Prices Escalate. Case in point – what the Seahawks have done with taller corners. Did I write an extra 76 words that I didn’t have to just to pump up the Seahawks... yes – yes I did.

7:43 pm: Jon Gruden continues to promote Tyrann Mathieu as the best Cornerback in the draft despite all sorts of off-field concerns about “The Honey Badger”. In the meantime, I’ll take this opportunity to watch the honey badger video. Jon Gruden don’t care about Honey Badgers off-field issues.

7:45 pm: Before the Vikes pick the NFL Marches out a bunch of military personnel and shouts of Oo-Rah’s and even 1 “asshole” slipped through onto the telecast. People are getting rowdy, stay classy America. The Vikes then select Shariff Floyd who slid about 10 picks too many. Don’t sleep on the Vikings next year.

 7:51 pm: It really looks like Geno Smith is sleeping. His draft day demeanor reminds me a bit Steve Francis’y. Also Jarvis Jones has already tweeted after being drafted by the Steelers a while back – he’s not off to a good grammatical start but since he can probably crush me and serve me for dinner I won’t make too much fun of it... look at that picture background on his twitter page.

7:55 pm: The Vikings with their second pick take corner Xavier Rhodes. The Vikings need a middle linebacker, have drafted Notre Dame players in the 1^st 2 rounds in back to back drafts and passed on Manti Te’o here. But at least he’s not in the room like Geno Smith. But at least Geno Smith has a girlfriend he’s met.

8:02 pm: We’re on a nickname run as The Packers select UCLA Defensive End Datone Jones and Jon Gruden wastes no time to call him “Da Tone Setter” while Chris Berman follows that up by throwing to Adam “Three Phones” Schefter. Go Home ESPN, you’re drunk... Back to the drawing board boys. We’re at pick 27 for the Texans and the only thing keeping me going right now is the hope of another Russell Wilson sighting... This draft has gotten slow.

8:08 pm: The Texans are on the clock and have a need at WR to line up across from Andre Johnson. If they draft one here, you have to give them credit for sticking to their guns and not drafting a WR all these years to sync with AJ’s prime but for the backside of his career.

8:10 pm: Sure enough, Clemson WR DeAndre Hopkins!!! Denver on the clock. At this stage it’s more likely that John Elway will play in the NFL again before Geno Smith.

8:11 pm: Now Adam Schefter comes on to say that Minnesota is trying to trade up and back into the first round with 3 PICKS to get Manti Te’o. Nothing like passing on a guy twice just to pay more to get him. SUPER COOL SKI INSTRUCTOR MEME ALERT!

8:17 pm: Denver picks defensive tackle Sylvester Williams. Why is that important? Because its pick 28 and we’re now 28 away from Seattle!!!! #GoHawks

8:26 pm: Prior to the Vikings pick, a nice moment here for former Patriots Guard Joe Andruzzi. Nice speech talking about the Boston Bombings. He had this picture go viral from the events of last week. Then “Sweet Caroline” breaks out over the speakers. I’ll throw in my support with a #BostonStrong....

Now onto the pick: Manti Te’NOOOOOO!!! CORDARRELLE PATTERSON! That cost 3 picks to do that but at least it wasn’t for Te’o. Also they had 3 chances to take Te’o and didn’t take him. Awesome. Just Awesome.

8:38 pm: At last check Geno Smith hasn’t been drafted and we haven’t heard Suzy Kolber shriek over Joe Namath groping her again. And the Rams draft Alec Ogletree to stack up their defence. Seriously – the NFC West is going to be just RUTHLESS next year. Dallas Cowboys are now on the clock. I could make a Tony Romo joke here but I’m actually a supporter of Tony Romo fan and blame the Cowboys problems on the defense and the interior line. Let’s see how they choose to address it after a commercial break.

8:40 pm: It’s being reported on twitter that Geno Smith has left the building. Time to update “Elvis has left the building” line to Geno Smith. Also when I set the PVR for this, I set the record to run an hour past the scheduled end time. We’re now 18 minutes away from that running out. This is putting The Oscars to shame. The Cowboys select interior lineman Travis Frederick much to the dismay of Cowboys Fans including this guy.

8:44 pm: The Ravens waste no time to select Matt Elam. Which means Manti Te’o was not picked. Nor was Geno Smith. I also just realized I wrote this whole document without hitting “Ctrl + S” – now that’s risky! And now I can log off. But not after re-watching the Russell Wilson intro one more time! #ChampionshipOffSeason #GoHawks Thanks for reading!