We've been friends since you found me. We’ve had our highs, we've had our lows. We see each other at least 82 times a year. Usually I come visit you in the comfort of your own home but on some rare occasions, roughly once or twice a year, you visit me. In fact, you pay good money to see me. It doesn’t bother you, you're glad to do it especially since it helps me and you're thrilled to see me do well. The 3 hours we visit are great. Sometimes it’s a winning visit, sometimes a losing one, but you're happy to see me because I entertain you.
Your other friends know me really well and you talk about me all year long. Nothing I don’t already know about myself but you all endlessly debate how I do things and what you would do differently to get the most out of myself. In years that you're lucky enough, I take you on an emotional roller coaster from April-June. This is where our friendship is tested the most but it’s also the time when we have the most fun. It's a time when I've provided you with great memories. You'll cherish most of them, repress some of them, and argue incessantly with anyone who disputes my credentials.
It’d be fair to say that I've taken advantage of the relationship. After-all you pay to see me. You even buy shirts and paraphernalia with my name on it. You've exhausted thousands of hours, and maybe even dollars, on me. But you don’t mind because I've been there for you. I've been there completely unknowingly, but I've been there when you needed me.
You noticed something about our relationship as the years have passed. Nothing overly earth shattering, but our friendship was rather one-way. You give and I take. Not even a 60%-40% trade off... I'm talking 95-5% trade off. It became more evident than normal in 2004 when I decided to shut you out for a year. You thought we would hang out for our customary 82 times, but alas you were left empty handed without me for a year. I also had 29 colleagues that I hung out with more. You understood to a degree since I have much more in common with them than with you, but it sucked to be without me for a year. I listened to my 29 colleagues and they convinced me that no matter what I did, you would still be there when I returned. I dressed it up nicely by saying I was so unhealthy I needed to make some changes to my foundation, which you bought, and I carried on without you. I disappeared for a year. You wanted me to be there and I wasn't. It became public knowledge that I said I needed to be fixed so you had to listen to people analyze me and come up with their ways of how to fix me. It was brutal.
Even though that year without me was rough, you have to give me credit because when I decided we could be friends again I came back better than ever: More exciting, more personable, and more accessible in every way. We looked back at that year away and said “We are better friends for it.” If you were in my shoes you would have stayed by my side and been there for me, but you understood that I needed to make some lifestyle changes. Sure I robbed you of a year to see me but you got over it. My 29 colleagues were right. You were still here upon my return. But now you were awake and not so naive to think it couldn't happen again.
We quickly repaired the friendship and tried to pretend 2004 never happened. You might have forgiven me, but you could never forget. I mean – look what I did. I vanished for a year. I mentioned at times that something similar could happen in 2012, you just didn't think I would have the audacity to pull the same stunt a mere 7 years later. And this time it makes less sense than before. I'm healthier than I was before, richer than I was before, and even worse – don’t need to make drastic fundamental changes to my lifestyle. I've just decided to be as greedy as possible just to test your resolve in this friendship and am willing to go so far as to shut you out again. That April-June stretch, our friendship is tested for the better. But this – this is testing your belief in me.
Don't I sound like a genuine jerk? Would you want to spend any more time with me?
Now imagine your friend is an NHL Franchise...
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